Dear Santa,
This year, can you just photocopy your list of the naughty girls for me? You don't even have to wrap it...
Sincerely, Trying Everything.
Dear cows,
I'm sorry... I just missed my wife.
Sincerely, the man who discovered milk.
Dear "trendy" teenage girl,
Please name more than three songs by the band on your shirt.
Sincerely, annoyed real fan.
Dear Homophobes,
Please don't let our gay marriage interrupt your straight divorce.
Sincerely, Proud of My Sexuality.
Dear Depressed Girls of the World,
You're Welcome.
Sincerely, Ben and Jerry.
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, T